My imaginary Love is My drug

Last time I fell in love ( imaginary = the girl I like never usually know that I like her ) was in 2013.  So for 6 months I was on that drug. I was floating in the air. Romantic songs, smile  and all that chemical things. Then it ended in my mind . Last 2 years had been quite . I studied, went to Germany. Didn’t had too much interaction with girls so I couldn’t get into drugs. By the way , Freiburg is dreamy city. I meant , the best to place to enjoy the drug. But I couldn’t. Though I didn’t miss it because I was focussed on my study.

Now I am back in India.  And I NEED the drug. I need it to remain myself sane in this third world crap. I hate everything here almost everything. I hate people here. Too many people. Why on earth did they not masturbated instead of fucking & producing like rats ?? WHY?

This is living hell. This is the place where you want to die. This is the place where you beg for death. This is the place where you curse the almighty. This is the place where you suffer. This is the place where you throw up in your mouth & second after that swallow it with your pride.

I need drug to remain normal . I need the drug to find piece of heaven in this hell.

15 days ago , I saw her. She is beautiful. Her eyes speak love. I felt the connection. I want to see her everyday. I want her smile to shine on my day. I want to speak to her. I want to her to breathe heaven into my hell. I want her to make me less toxic in this hostile place.

Everyday I go early & wait for her class to over. When I see her , that is my drug. I don’t know if I am out her league. Doesn’t matter. It never did. Remember this is my imaginary love. She doesn’t need to know. Although, I avoid staring at her. I don’t want her feel uncomfortable. Just glimpse is enough to pass through day in hell.

Bad thing is her class might end in next 30 days and mine will be on for next 2 months. So, there is expiry date. That’s ok. That is life. I may never see her again like all my past imaginary love. Time is  good at healing. I am good at getting healed.

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