SHE said She is AFRAID of India !!!

She liked me when we had our first private chat. She was so happy being with me. I was too. Then she started to ask me questions to know more about me.  I know what was coming.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM ?  I said India ..I could have lied but I don’t want to start any relationship with lie.

I said what happened ?

She said, ” I am afraid of India”.

She is from Ukraine. She just started working as a cam girl. But some most motherfuckers from India have already ruined image of the country in her eyes. AFRAID.

Now her excitement about me has gone . The spark is gone. This is not first time this happened to me . Many relationships were broken even before they started because of my nationality , skin color, my face…

WHO SHOULD I BLAME ??? WHO ?? WHO ???? WHO???????????????????

 

Marriage & Children Vs Individual Happiness

Out of 4 friends I have , three are already married. One is enjoying himself in London as he discovered what a full bottle (quality) of wine can do to your nervous system. We all are 27-29 age group. I am happy for them.

As far as I am concerned , I am almost 28 , and still don’t see marriage happening in near future( 2 years). My parents don’t like this.  This is India. Indian culture. Marriage is sacred cow. After 25, everyone in the village starts asking “When are you getting married?” . I am like ,” Who are you Sir ?”  That is the way it is. I was born here so culture is culture same like Brexit means Brexit.

As you might already know my style of writing, I don’t give fuck to other people except my family.  I am still not excited about getting married. Rather I am terrified of it. I see with my very eyes this nation crumbling under stress of population. I see 4-5 members families living in one room. No privacy at all.

I can’t picture my daughter living in this hell. I can’t tolerate love of my life suffering in this hell. No way I am getting married in this country. I am physically incapable of loving anyone even me in this toxic environment. Even if I get married here , I am sure my wife will leave me in two months. I am pretty sure of that.

Being single is not that bad. I have small hall, kitchen for myself. I can do whatever I want. I can sleep whenever I want. I study at any time. I don’t have to take responsibility of one more person. I don’t have to  take another person for movie , garden ( In India we actually don’t have any privacy spot.SICK) .  I don’t have to change diaper of crying baby. I don’t have to SAVE money for my daughter education & cut down expenses on my study. (In India)

It is sick to see people starting family when they can’t even afford to fund one person’s decent life. It’s like let’s ruin four more lives with me. And that FYI is INDIAN culture.

However deep down  I do want to settle , get married & have four kids. Wonderful family just like Mr.Trump. I wish I was not born here and forced to choose between my individual happiness & marriage-children . That is sad life.  It fascinates me what life forces me to do. Sadly ,I am creature of my circumstances , not good position for a man who loves liberty.