I don’t remember the last time I wrote a blog here. It has been long time. I have been spending more time on camsites chasing happiness , working on my job and gym. I couldn’t spend any time here. I wasn’t motivated enough. One thing you should know about me is I don’t do anything unless I want to or I am forced. So I am sorry to my followers that I showed my back to you. Forgive me.
Coming back to the title of this blog. Once you have expectation and it doesn’t become true then you get hurt. That is how it is. It applies to everything in life. You expect sunny day but it fucking rains. Damn …your mood is gone . You expect promotion but manager thinks otherwise. There you go down. You get my point. This is not my innovation. In Bhagwat Gita , Lord Krishna says you become happy or sad when you have expectation. Once you remove it, you are free. They can’t touch you.
As you know I have been trying to move out India since 2013. It is not happening. I expected to happen sooner but it didn’t. Now I don’t care at all. Same with love life. I am 28, still to get into relationship. It didn’t happen . Now I don’t care. Same with life. Many things are not working the way I want . Now I don’t care. It is what it is. Good or bad. Right or wrong. Happens or not. I have no expectation from life or any one.
Reminds me of powerful quote :
No One Owes You Anything. No One.
That’s it . That is the message . That is the theme I am working on. Thanks for reading this. Comment if you want to say thing. Have nice day ahead.
( No edit Just writing )
I was 6 0r 7 years old when I heard a word “America”. It felt good to hear. It got register in my heart permanently. It used to make appearance here & there in newspapers , TV. I was a kid from lower middle class family living in a small village of India’s west coast. I wish I didn’t hear the word “America”. Little did I know then that my youth is going affected like never before when I would get addicted to idea of being in America.
I am 27 now , soon 28. I should have got married by now. I should have settled like my friends did. Married, Wife, Happy Parents, Peace with life. No, that is not the case. There is no peace in my life. I had just returned from Germany where my master study abrupted by lack of finance. I lost two years worth of my life. And lot money I ashamed to admit. I have put my parents into a lot of pain . My siblings have suffered. But look at me , I am still adamant on idea of “being in America”. I wish I could delete America from memory. I can’t be at peace with my life till my feet the land of opportunity.
I wish I was born there. I wish I was there already eliminating rat race which I have to go through to get there. I am loosing my life. My time . My money. My health. So I am not really sure when I get there I will be able to enjoy. If I reach there by 30 & married. How on earth I am going to enjoy my life at NYC? Forget enjoyment can I afford it? Someone will say move to another city , what is the point of going through all this and just to let go my goal , bucket list. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know when sun is going to shine. I don’t know when the night is going to end. I don’t know if I will there when this done. I don’t know….