Experience, nothing like it.

I adore New York ; never been there ,but still like no one else. Given a choice I would shift to the city in a flash. But I can’t. I am a man of circumstances. They dictate my future. I was born in a country where there is long queue ( read 3-4 years) for immigration. Everyone wants to get the hell out of here as soon as first opportunity arrises. Who can blame Man ?  Man always had desire to do better for himself. That’s ok.

On Saturday & Sunday , I am usually free to do what I want. But I never do anything except eating & staring at my laptop. I live in a city which I hate last 6 years. Population is humongous. So , introvert like me is even afraid to step out of door .

I love sunset. But never went to see. I love dancing in rains. But never did. I love parks. But we don’t have one. I love trains . But they are smelly & crowded. I love walking. But there is no quiet place.  I love going to libraries . But we don’t have one.  I love falling in love. But I am afraid of  honour killing here .

Basically, I have been spending last 6 years’ of my weekend hiding in my room & waiting to somehow land in USA to enjoy my freedom.

Meantime I try to IMAGINE what it is like to live in New York while staring at ceiling. I try to IMAGINE what it is like to roam in the Central Park. I try to IMAGINE what it is like looking from the top of the Empire State building. I try hard to IMAGINE what it is like to immerse oneself in a crowd of Times Square. I try to IMAGINE enjoying broadway show with like minded people.  I try to IMAGINE what it is like to have philosophical conversation with your best friend while gazing at the Statue of Liberty. I try to IMAGINE what freedom tastes like.

But Guess what ? I CAN’T I CAN’T

It KILLS me that my brain isn’t capable of doing those things. I can’t imagine any of those how hard I try , how long I try.

I can’t CREATE experience via Imagination. I can’t.

That is feeling of Man who is helpless in front of circumstances. The Man who is waiting to live his life. The Man who already lost 1/3 of his life WAITING. The Man who sees no immediate sign of LIFE coming to his life. The Man who is just imagine things. The Man who has not yet EXPERIENCE the life he wants. The Man is counting on his good luck. The Man who prays almighty to help him to get his TRUE life back. The Man who is just creature of its circumstance and nothing else..

Are we capable to judge others ?

No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

Right now I am reading “Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl” . Not finished yet. I am also “LOUD” reading “The Mastery Manual by Robin Sharma”, one of my life’s top influencer.  So, I came across this line, and couldn’t help to highlight it immediately. It wasn’t enlightenment moment for me  as I am already familiar with Stanford Prison experiment. I know Man is creature of his circumstance almost 80% of the time ( 10% genetic code and 10% learning) . Those numbers are approximate .

That line tells us we pretty much do not have any right to start judging people around. And we shouldn’t , not even Supreme Court judges. You might say they refer to the law but let me point out to you the law was made by Men. Men of particular personality & born in particular situation.

There was this case of cannibalism where three people had to eat fourth person actually teenage guy, because  they were stranded in the middle of the ocean with no food & no help for three months or so. Also , the boy was dieing due to drinking salty water. When they returned home  after miraculous rescue , they were charged with murder. Now, you and me sitting in our comfy chair in front of TV can loudly say , ” That is disgusting. I would have chosen to die if I were in their place” DID YOU ? ARE YOU SURE?

That leaves me with the conclusion that I have to stop & think and ask myself “Would have done same thing if I were him/her?” “Can I judge a man by my values & ignoring his ?” I don’t think so. We totally miss this in our everyday life and start judging people like we are Saint . We are not. We will do bloody same thing more or less if faced with similar circumstances.