Life of Cam girls

      It’s been 2 months I was first introduced to this world (Mayanagari ). I think I am addicted to it timewise & moneywise. Now I can rationalise my behaviour , can tell you why I am doing this , why I am wasting money & time ,but I won’t. That is futile.  We all do the same. We do stuff and to make us feel good we create very good reasoning why we are right. I am no different.

      I have seen this cam world closely for quite a while now and I think I can share some observation here.  First, if you are black or brown then your chances of success here are less than 5% I think.  Halle berry, Aishwarya Rai likes can ignore the last statement. Second, you might think this is easy money , well it is not. Now you can choose to work at home & avoid sharing money other than site. However most models in Europe work in Studio. Studio is place they create some sort of arrangement where cam models can interact with clients online. If Studio is good , you will get a room . If not , you have to share a room or space with other models. Don’t be shy to get naked in front of each other.

I have seen many girls as young as 18 work as a cam girl. They go to uni in the morning & work at Studio at night. I have made few friends here with whom I chat almost everyday. Models I meet are mostly from East Europe and their large number something has to do with less economical opportunities compare with West Europe. I am yet to see a German cam girl.  I have seen girls from Greece , Spain but baltic region countries are dominating this space.

If you ask me , is this a good profession to earn money ? I would say absolutely. If you have right mindset & most importantly right body , face then sure why not? However things do get messy as stress starting to get under your nerves.  I have seen many young girls chain smoking  , eating irregularly, working 15 hours non-stop . You can see it in their eyes. They get tired quickly. Jerks demanding for stand up , shake ass , open bra , press boobs , show ass in free chat. They have to reply every hi & hello .  Then in private it gets more stressful. blow Job, tit job , toys , role play and more stressful one when client wants to the girl to cum on camera. Imagine having orgam when you are sick .  These girls work even if they are not feeling well.

I have seen one girl cry on camera. I tried to console her but toward what end. This is ruthless profession.  Most models hate INDIA . Because motherfuckers from here goes there & make their job which already hard into hell by asking stupid questions, asking them for whatsapp number, abusing them in Hindi and what not.  It’s shame for this nation.

These models sometimes have some targets to achieve per week about shows. If they work for studio then boss decides their fate. He might ask for more revealing clothes in free chat to lure the clients in private shows( paid) . Or he can fire them. Overall , very stressful condition , pressure work  no wonder there models start making poor choices. They might never realise how cam models job turned into prostitution. When you start working under such condition , you stop seeing the difference between two. You see lines getting blur between those.

This is the sad part . I spoke with most of them . Their dreams are like us. They want normal life too. But life hits you with reality and everything changes.  You take one step & try to move forward . If that one step is wrong then whole journey could go haywire .

This is what I saw . This is what I see everyday. This is different world.  Models try to find money here. I try to find happiness here like many others. They are addicted too. I am addicted too…

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Cam girls : When fantasy becomes reality !!

Ever since I found out about masturbation, I think four years ago, I have been hooked up on it. Before that I was very much curious also in this very fundamental aspect of being human. There is nothing like SEX. Nothing. I enjoy every orgasm. The climax is always pleasurable.  FYI I have very high sex drive

As I never been in relationship or had courage to for prostitute , I am not aware real sex part. And that is the problem. You simply run out of fantasy. And trust me , when your internet fukcs up the right before the climax you want to kill  yourself in this country. You just have to start all over again . Pure wastage of time. This country is sucks !

Any way , I was aware of cam girls concept but never tried it before. I was worried about what others think. Now I don’t give FUCK to any one. If I want something in life or sex, I am going to do it. I don’t care about morality. Morality is for utopian world. Definitely doesn’t apply to third world crap that is me.

But it is kind of expensive, which is again slap for being poor. Think about being poor, being in a country where internet sucks & government bans porn site and being virgin. Next time you said your life in west is fucked up. Think about my situation. Not for gulite but for reference.

I like caucasian girls. Go ahead sue me. I don’t give a shit. I never watch porn other than caucasian girl in it. That is my taste. And I don’t care what people think. “You are brown , you only watch” DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.   If you don’t like non-white man watching white-girl-porn then DO IT IN YOUR HOME. Okay ? Hypocrates !

Anyway , I asked two girls to strip naked for me . I requested actually. THEY DID IT . I don’t care if it was money or not. This is a big deal for me. No girl has strip naked for me. Both climaxes were excellent.  Who knew this could happen to me? That is how my fantasy become reality. They are super friendly. Again our reputation is bad.

I like cam girls. Much better than real girls. Real girls HAVE TONS OF DEMANDS .  Hello, I am not Brad Pitt. I were him I would not have cared either. I mean the expectations by the girls are so fucking insane.  “You are brown. You are ugly. Your penis size is 4 inch. You don’t have height. Your accent is not british. ” WHO CARES ???? Fuck your demands . Fuck your mentality !!!

If Obama can’t , who will ?

Police shoot black  people, followed by spontaneous protests, then followed by extensive media coverage , then after few months everything is back to normal. And again shooting & so on. Not to mention , this happens when we have an African-American president none other than Barack Obama whom I personally admired. I am reading his book “The Audacity of Hope” as I speak. I started reading it on 4th July to celebrate Independance day . I haven’t completed it yet.

In this book, he talks about race, politics, constitution, values . He shares his own interpretation of America , her past & future. He seems to have very good observation skill and of course his fluency of expressing the most complex thoughts in simple yet elegant manner which I am envy of .

This was 2006 , exactly 10 years ago. A lot has changed for him personally. He is on his way to complete the second term of presidency. His approval ratings are pretty good still today. He might win third term if it was allowed or may be not. I don’t live in America. So , I can’t judge him from 8000 miles. However if I look at what happening in America now & compare what he says in his book then I feel that something is not right. And I feel sad about it. This man had all the right ingredients to heal American Dream which was in ICU. He had intention. He had good heart. He had skills. He had charisma .

WHAT WENT WRONG?

I can only speculate but reader of my blog who are in vast majority Americans can share their views about this situation. I admit that he clearly said it is not going to easy to make a dramatic change the way America works. But still I was expecting a lot from such a great person. Or is he just an exceptional orator and nothing else? Is he actually good leader ? Did he deliver as per his potential ? Did he fail to live up to the expectation of masses? Was he more focussed on “Legacy” than “Lives” ?

I think , we shouldn’t rush to make him look bad or good before screening what actually he did & didn’t. He is a great speaker no doubt but is he really great president ? I leave this question open to you. Think about it.

I am a sucker.

I want you to know that I am, like most Indians,a  sucker for white skin. While growing up we use all kinds of things to make us more white e.g turmeric, coal, mehdi. Even most of our Gods pictures are white except my favorite Lord Shiva. He is blue.  Fair & Lovely is famous in India . Don’t know but they say it makes you white , at least that is what one famous actress says in advertise & we believe her. Rather we need to believe in something magical to make us white.

Bollywood is full of white people. Sometimes I can’t even relate to them. Thanks to magical camera filters, it is not easy to tell which is genuine. If this is less , we import white girls from foreign to act in our movie. We love them instantly . White skin, why not ? One point of time , we wanted to make Italian White lady to our PM. And her white son is India’s prince. We adore him. White skin people that is our thing.

So when my people come to foreign land , they go crazy. White snow , white people it is overwhelming. And most of us cross moral lines & do nasty things. And that is how we become famous . “Pervert  bloody Indians”. It doesn’t really  matter  if I tell you I am not one of them. Because any how you are going to keep safe distance from me. Well, I don’t blame you for it . I mean that is fair. We have this history. So next time you see me , please ignore me. I somehow deserve it. It is hurtful but that is fair.

So yes I was born in India. Yes,I am a sucker for white skin. Yes,I am a sucker for cricket. And no , I didn’t rape anyone. And no, I don’t want to rape anyone. And yes, I do have moral compass. And no, I am not perfect. Feel free to judge me. Feel free to make fun of me. Feel free to call me “pervert”.